This post brought to you by the letter “S”

I am a big fan of story time. And Sesame Street. Tonight, I got the best of both worlds when Mommy read me a Sesame Street tome called “Bubbles, Bubbles.” For all you other mommies and daddies out there, you can find this volume in the “Sesame Beginnings” set of four board books, which also includes classics such as “At the Zoo,” “Eyes, Nose, Fingers & Toes” and “Nighty Night.”

But back to “Bubbles, Bubbles.” Mommy didn’t know that the seemingly innocuous Muppets were so, how do you say… “friendly” with one another.

The book begins innocently enough, with Ernie, Bert, Cookie Monster and Elmo taking baths, individually, and commenting on all the soap bubbles. But by the end, it’s pure debauchery with the four men all in the tub together.

Mommy said the only person missing from the scene was Roger*, the realtor who sold Mommy and Daddy our lovely estate in FloMo. Roger and his wife, Betty*, had what one might call an “open relationship.” They were both realtors, and Roger was the one in the pair who drove potential buyers to homes for sale.

Roger judged the value of each house by the number of people that could fit in the shower stall or bathtub. If more than two people could not fit in a particular shower or bath, it was crossed off the list… unless, of course, there was a hot tub in the pool, in which case the home’s value could potentially go up, as long as there was plenty of privacy surrounding said hot tub.

I guess Roger liked lots of things in his tub. All I need for a good bath is a rubber ducky.

* “Roger” and “Betty” are not their real names. The realtors’ identities have been changed for their protection.